Momofuku Milk Bar: Seriously Not Good

This is the much-hyped bakery by Momofuku's creator, David Chang, and it sits in a prominent location east of Union Square, at 13th St. and 2nd Ave.

I've been here three times now and I've really tried to like it each time and each time I haven't. They somehow manage to mangle desserts that SHOULD taste great. Crack pie was TOO much butter! Compost cookie went down like a brick. Cereal milk is tasty for a reason -- because it comes at the end of a bowl of subtler cereal; by itself it's just too strong. Yudge. Candy bar pie picked the wrong types of candy bars to emulate -- the caramel tastes cheap. The soft serves are a bit better but still too much (and I say this as someone who usually likes too much). The pistachio flavor was too salty and bizarre when it existed, the chocolate malt that they serve now too malty. The root beer float flavor is too icy, and the orange julius tastes literally like frozen orange juice. Their cakes apparently are no better -- I tried the one with yellow cake crumbs and it was cold, with the cake hard, the frosting bland, and the overall cake tasting like a supermarket cake or worse, but for much more money.

Unfortunately, this is a place that is just plain bad.

Stars: 1/5